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The Healing Lodge

Child Abuse Story 1

When I was a small child, six years old--second grade, I was sexually molested for a period of time by an older boy who went to my school. I know that this does not compare with some tragedies, but the underlying feelings are the same: guilt/shame/fear/blame... the list goes on and on.

I call these feelings the black in me. It's the dark hole that still has a hold on my soul. For a long, long time, I felt loveless. I trusted nobody, and to this day, still have a hard time trusting people. My own family still doesn't know. There is so much shame involved, because you blame yourself.

I always felt that I "gave up" on myself, and at times I even believed I got what I "deserved." It has taken me twenty years to be able to deal with what I went through. The impact it had on my life really did shape me as a person. Healing takes time...but it will happen. Talking will help. Just knowing that you are not alone will help. I know. I've felt alone most of my life, and its not a nice place to be.

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